Thumb Hypoplasia

So Austin has thumb hypoplasia.  A rare abnormality of the thumbs that occurs in 1 out of 100,000 babies where the thumbs did not form properly during the first few weeks of gestation (usually around week 5-8 of pregnancy).  There is no known cause for this, just that they didn't form properly.  And of course we always get stuck with the rare cases!

His right thumb is better than the left.  The left is what they call a "floating thumb", where the bones did not grow enough and the thumb is just hanging loose, "floating".  We saw the orthopedic surgeon last week and she said there's essentially no hope for his ever having use of his left thumb as is. Is is best treated by pollicization of the index finger, where they take the index finger and turn it into a thumb, leaving him with 3 fingers and a thumb.

It's just so unreal. I just don't understand why we couldn't have been blessed with a "normal" baby after everything we've been through.  And yet I kick myself for saying that because there are so many worse things that could have happened to him.  He will figure it out, how to use his fingers and thumbs.  He'll probably be teased a lot in school and he'll always have to approach the subject with strangers and new people he meets, but it could be a lot worse.

The only unknown for now is whether he has any other associated conditions.  About 86% of the children with hypoplastic thumb have associated abnormalities.  Fortunately we've already ruled out a heart condition, but he could have kidney or urinary issues. We got for an ultrasound of his stomach in 2 weeks to find out.

So yeah, it's scary, frustrating, and annoying, but at the end of the day it is what it is and we're going to have to deal with it.  But I think I'm done with issues now!  We've had our share, so it would be nice to be left to our devices and not have any more surprises...

Introducing Austin Riley Taylor - born April 10, 2013

We made it!!  Austin Riley Taylor was born April 10, 2013 at 3.21pm.  He was 6lb7oz.  After 15 hours of labour (!) and an attempt at a natural birth, he ended up being born by c-section.

It's been a 11 days and the time has passed so quickly, yet so slowly.  Feeding is going well, but the nights are so, so hard.  I'm in a state of delirium, really.  Neil has not been adjusting well, having several fits a day and it's been really hard.

Unfortunately, Austin has a few problems - his thumbs are not properly developed and he has an indentation at the base of his spine.  So, it means more hospital visits - ultrasounds on his back, meeting with an orthopedic surgeon, as well as a geneticist to rule out these issues being related to some other syndrome.  It's extremely scary.  After everything we've been through you just want to have a "perfect, healthy baby".  But because we always seem to the on the wrong side of percentages, if it can happen to us it does.  Makes you wonder why us?

But through it all I try to just look at our gorgeous angel, Austin, who made it through despite all the struggles and the long, long weeks of bed rest.  And I know that no matter what we will love him for all that he is, but you just pray that everything will work out okay in the end.

37 weeks!

We made it!!!  Full term.  Can you believe it?  After 10 weeks of couch potato rest this baby is finally considered full term.  Amazing.  It's hard to describe the range of emotions I'm feeling: elation, relief, apprehension, fear, impatience.  They roll around continuously as if daring me to chose one and stick to it.

Elation : I am thrilled we made it this far.  With Neil being born at 31 weeks, I never thought I'd make it past 35 weeks.  Sure, I'd heard the stories of women who'd delivered prematurely and their next child went full term, but given my history of being on the wrong side of percentages, I never actually believed I would be one of them.  So indeed I am elated.

Relief: that this baby (hopefully) won't spend several weeks in the NICU.  No travelling back and forth to the hospital ever day, not able to spend any private time with your newborn, always being at the mercy of the nurses and those darn machines!

Apprehension & fear: We've made it this far, nothing could go wrong now...right?  Right???  I am so terrified of losing this baby after I've done everything I can to keep him alive until now.  I feel like after all the struggles we've been through, it just isn't possible that something would go wrong again, right?  But that doubt nags at me, clawing it's way into my head whenever possible.  I try to push it aside and bring myself back to only positive thoughts and images, but it is oh so hard.

Impatience: Let's get this baby out already!!  I want to meet him, I want to hold him, I don't want to be pregnant anymore.  lol!  Having never made it this far in a pregnancy, I now totally understand what all those women in their 9th month complain about: aching bodies, peeing ALL THE TIME, exhaustion, crankiness, impatience.  I feel it all.  Plus the fact that I have painful contractions EVERY DAY, and nothing becomes of them is very frustrating.  I'll have contractions for 3 hours and I think, "this is it.  The time has come".  And then they subside.  The waiting is killing me!

Through it all, I always bring myself back to this: This is the decision we made - that we would try one more time.  We knew it would be difficult; we knew it would be emotional; we knew it would be a long 9 months.  But through it all, we knew it would be worth it - regardless of the outcome.  I knew I didn't want to wake up at 40 and regret not having tried one more time.  So whatever happens, I am happy we chose to go through this one last time, even if I am elated, relieved, apprehensive, fearful and impatient.