Saturday, April 7, 2012

Jealousy and Angst Rear their Ugly Heads

My girlfriend's husband just posted a photo on facebook.  The photo was of an oven...with a bun in it.  You get the point.  This will be their 4th child. They've never had a complication; all her pregnancies went smoothly; all natural births.  Their biggest obstacle?  That it took 6 months to get pregnant this time.

I am angry, and jealous, and sad, and frustrated, and annoyed at myself for not being happy for them.  And note I write "happy".  Not "happier". I wish I could feel happy for them, but right now, since I literally just found out - via Facebook (the evil of all things communication!) no less - it's hard to be happy for them.

We all have our issues, I know.  And just because on the outside it seems like everything is great for them, it doesn't mean it is.  But seriously - four?  And I can't just have two?

I've been pregnant 3 times, with 4 babies. And one survived.

She will now have been pregnant 4 times, with 4 babies.

How is that fair?

And then to top it all off, my best girlfriend who has a brain tumor just got her results from her MRI and now she has 2 tumors.  Wonderful.

Happy Easter???