I am so ready for this pregnancy to be over with. I'll be 36 weeks tomorrow and I ache all over. It's getting harder and harder to walk up and down the stairs. I'm continuously out of breath. I have contractions every day, but they always cease. I'm tired. I'm grumpy. I'm scared.
A part of me wants to go into labor now so that Snoop can be born and this long stretch of months of waiting and anticipation will be over. And the other part of me knows how great it would be if I would go full term. Just one more week. It's possible, right?
D. wants to go on a farm tour in Ontario on Thursday. It's 3 hours away and I'm so afraid that something will happen that day and he won't get back in time. But of course if I make him stay and I don't go into labor he'll be pissed and frustrated and upset. But seriously, what other husband would actually drive 3 hours away when their wife is 36 weeks pregnant and has had the history and bad luck that I have? I mean am I asking too much? Am I being unreasonable? So part of me wants to have the baby now so he doesn't go on Thursday. How horrible is that?
And of course as I'm writing this I'm having contractions - but I'm sure they'll stop. They always do :)
Argh......the waiting game! I know it's only a matter of time, I just have to be patient. Not one of my strong points. I'm probably the least patient person I know. ha ha!
But I can do this. I know I can. When I start to get scared and emotional I try to remind myself that I can handle this. I have been through so more before. This is nothing in comparison. I just have to be strong.
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