It's been a rough week

Well to say it's been a rough week is an understatement :)  Last Tuesday night I came down with a fever and ended up sick in bed for 5 days.  Fever last 4 days.  Turns out I have a viral lung infection.  Fun.  But since it's not bacterial, there's no meds I can take, except for an inhaler to help clear my lungs out.  Lovely.  So after everything else I've been through over the last 3 years, now this.  Sometimes I wonder: is it just me?  Am I the only one who seems to have more health issues these days?  Or is everyone in their 30's encountering new health issues.  Or is it because I've been pregnant the last 3 years and gained 40 pounds?  Or is it both?  Either way it's just one more thing to deal with.

We're leaving on Friday for Jamaica and I'm so scared that I won't be feeling 100% or, worse, Neil will get sick.  Last January we had to cancel our trip to Puerto Vallarta because they thought Neil had a serious health issue (it turned out to be fine, but it was scary at the time).  It's like I'm treading lightly so as not to rock the boat before Friday.

I guess that's how it would feel every day if I were to get pregnant again. Treading water; anxious; nervous; scared. And to have those emotions every day for 9 months?  Oof!  I don't know how women who have been through stillbirth can handle it.

And yet I want to be able to handle it and I want to get pregnant again.  I just have to wait until May to do so.

That's a long way off!!