The irony of the situation is unbelievable. Today, on the 5 month anniversary of Riley's death, I came face to face with a baby who is 5 months old. A woman on maternity leave came to visit the office today with her 2nd baby, a boy, who is 5 months old. At first I was able to keep my composure, say all the right things, ooh and ahh. But then the more I looked at him, I couldn't keep the emotions in any longer and I had to leave the room.
This is the first baby I've seen that belongs to someone I know. I've seen other babies, at the mall, or out and about, but they always belonged to strangers. And while I got emotional then, it just wasn't the same feeling. I mean this baby is the exact same age Riley would have been. It was just so strange.
But I got through it. I got a hold of my emotions and was able to return to the room, with a smile on my face. I guess that's my reality from now on.
It's so tough when these emotions just get us even when at first things seem so be going okay. I have found some babies are okay and some are not and I never quite know which times will "get me". I'm so sorry you don't have your own 5 month old boy to hold in your arms. Good job getting through a tough run in.
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