I took a pregnancy test today. It was negative. I didn't actually think I was pregnant, but I've been sick all week, and I've been really nauseous and feeling faint, so I thought, well...maybe? I knew deep down inside it was almost impossible (I've got an IUD), but stranger things have happened. I mean I got pregnant with Riley while I was breastfeeding Neil and on the pill. So I took the test. It was negative.
A little piece of me was hoping, wishing it were positive. Because then I wouldn't have to make the decision to start trying to get pregnant. I wouldn't have to decide - am I really sure I want to go through this again? The decision would have been made and I would have accepted it and gone forward.
But it was negative. So although I'm not surprised, I am secretly a little disappointed. It just would have been so much easier this way!