I took a pregnancy test today. It was negative. I didn't actually think I was pregnant, but I've been sick all week, and I've been really nauseous and feeling faint, so I thought, well...maybe? I knew deep down inside it was almost impossible (I've got an IUD), but stranger things have happened. I mean I got pregnant with Riley while I was breastfeeding Neil and on the pill. So I took the test. It was negative.
A little piece of me was hoping, wishing it were positive. Because then I wouldn't have to make the decision to start trying to get pregnant. I wouldn't have to decide - am I really sure I want to go through this again? The decision would have been made and I would have accepted it and gone forward.
But it was negative. So although I'm not surprised, I am secretly a little disappointed. It just would have been so much easier this way!
I'm so sorry. The ttc process is so hard a little *surprise* does seem like it would have been easier. My sister often jokes that she wishes I could be like one of those girls who didn't know I was pregnant and then just one day BAM you go into labor and have a baby without all the stress during the pregnancy...wouldn't that be nice?!? I still don't believe how that is possible, but it sure would have been easier that way!
ReplyDeleteMaybe now that you know you were disappointed to have a negative result, you will be a little more ready to think about what you are ready to do. I mean don't get me wrong, you may never feel ready, but more ready to try than to not...
I will be thinking of you!
I'm sorry. Even if you aren't exactly "trying," a negative test is still disappointing.
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