Sunday, February 24, 2013

31 week milestone passed

Neil was born at 31 weeks, 2 days.  I passed that milestone on Friday.  One more hill we've conquered!  It wasn't without incident, though.  Wednesday I ended up in the hospital again with contractions.  All turned out okay - no change in cervix or baby, so we were happy about that.  They kept me for 24 hours, though, to give me the 2 shots of cortisone for baby's lungs.  This way if I do deliver prematurely in the next 2 weeks he'll have had that added help.

So I'm starting to feel more encouraged, more like this baby has a chance now.  Because if Neil was born 9 weeks early and is perfectly healthy now, then if we had another baby early it would be okay.  And I feel like I'm less afraid of the possibility of stillbirth again, even though I know it is indeed a real possibility.  But I guess because I've passed the 2 major milestones, I'm breathing a little easier.

The hardest part about all of this is being so lonely and bored.  I can't do anything, I can't go out and enjoy the winter.  It's really hard being cooped up all the time.  Like this afternoon, D's friend called him up and invited us to join him at the local outdoor rink.  Of course I couldn't go.  So D got to go and have a great time with our friends while I was stuck at the house.  It's really hard.  You get depressed because you're so emotional anyways, and no one really understands it.  All my friends are like "you're so lucky, you can relax and watch tv and get caught up on sleep".  Yeah, yeah.  You try it!  I'm such a busy, active person normally that this is just killing me!

But now we're really starting to count down: 60 days to 40 weeks!  It seems reachable now.  The last 4 weeks went by so slowly, but I do feel like the next 4 weeks will go by a little faster and then it will be just gravy.

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