Three months until Christmas. I just noticed that. It's depressing. This was supposed to be an exciting, eventful Christmas with a newborn in the house. And now it won't be that way. How am I supposed to feel? I know we'll have a good christmas because we still have Neil and it's going to be exciting this year because he'll be noticing everything. He's still too young to understand, but it's going to be fun for him (and us, for him) this year. So that keeps me strong and going, but it's still hard because Riley should be with us too.
About six weeks ago I was on a few websites that had xmas decoration sales and one had a "baby's 1st christmas" ornament. I really wanted to buy it, but I thought it silly to buy ornaments in August. I'm glad I didn't now, but yet at the same time I wish I had because then it would be something to remind me of him. Or is that too morbid? I'm thinking of maybe making an ornament for him, which we can hang each year. Or maybe buying a special angel for the top of the tree? It's silly to think of this 3 months in advance, but it's on my mind. It feels nice, feels good, to think of how we can remember him at the holidays.
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