So today we met with the funeral home to plan Riley burial. It was really hard. But the meeting went so quickly because there was little to plan. We had already decided we didn't want a service, or visitation, or anything like that. We just wanted it to be me and D. But it was really hard. D had to do most of the talking because any time I tried to talk I just started crying. Quite a miserable place, that! Everything is set for 10am on Monday. That's when Riley will be buried and we'll be able to say our final goodbyes.
I don't practice religion, but I believe in God and I believe in heaven and I believe that Riley's spirit will be watching over us. But it's hard to know that this will be it. Will it give me closure? I'm happy at least that now I'll have a place to go when I want to speak to him, or remember him, or feel close to him. I know I could do that anywhere, but I like to have a concrete spot. And this way he'll never be forgotten and it will show that he was real; that he existed, if only in my womb.
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