No answers

My doctor called me today.  He got all the blood test results back - everything was normal.  Nothing in my blood work to explain Riley's death.  He also got the amnio results - again, all was normal.  There were no genetic anomalies, no trisomy, no carrier-type problems.  So basically, no answers. 

So now we have to wait for the autopsy results which would show if there was any organ failure.  And the results take 4-6 months!  Which means 5 more months of waiting and wondering what happened.  I'm starting to think we won't get an answer and it will be another "unknown".  Like with Neil - they had no answers as to why I went into labour 9 weeks early.

I'm afraid to never get an answer.  How do you get closure when you don't have answers?  How do you accept when you don't know why?  How could I ever get pregnant again if I didn't know what happened? 

I just want to know why.  Why was Riley taken for us?  What is the reason for this?  Why???